Not much new to report. Just working away getting the students scheduled in with classes and getting Christian & Dylan ready for school as well. That takes up all the time and is stressful enough to convince me to just take a nap when I get home!! Christian is starting practice for Football and Cross-Country soon. Exited for the games/meets. I love to watch him run and look forward to it more than I could explain. When I see him, I'm so proud of him....I'm sure you would be too! Tracy mentioned Brad participating in Football...hopefully I'll get his schedule so we can head over there to catch a game or two of his.
Life is just happening....busy here and there but never trying to forget what's most important!
I love you Dad...always and you know that. Although my faith tells me you are resting now, I still like to believe you stop by once in awhile just to check in. Sometimes I wish I knew.....but even though, there is always an empty spot next to me wishing you were joining in with the conversation!!!
FIRST, CHRISTIAN STARTED HIS VERY FIRST JOB A FEW WEEKS AGO. HE'S STILL GOING AT IT AND I HAVEN'T HEARD A COMPLAINT YET SO THAT'S A VERY GOOD SIGN! BESIDES THAT HE'S KEEPING BUSY STAYING IN HIS ATHLETIC CAMPS AND IS STILL TRAINING/PREPARING FOR CROSS COUNTRY/FOOTBALL. NEW FOOTBALL COACH THIS YEAR SO I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD AND "OK" WITH HIM PARTICIPATING IN BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S A RELIEF TO FINALLY HAVE BOTH/TWO COACHES PUSHING AND ENCOURAGING CHRISTIAN TO DO HIS BEST IN BOTH.
DYLAN HAD HIS 8TH BIRTHDAY IN JUNE! MY LITTLE MAN IS GROWING UP. HE'S GONE FROM BEING MY BABY TO A LITTLE MAN WHO IS HELPING ME MORE THAN I THINK I REALIZE! I CATCH MYSELF TREATING HIM AND MAYBE SOMETIMES "OVER-HELPING" HIM SO IT'S NICE HE CATCHES IT AND CORRECTS ME!
DAD, I JUST LOVE THESE BOYS SO MUCH!!! I HOPE THEY CONTINUE TO GROW UP JUST AS THEY ARE...TRYING EACH DAY TO TEACH THEM THE RIGHT THINGS AND NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION, WE ARE ALWAYS PUSHING LOVE ON THEM. WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM YOU CAN SEE WHAT KIND OF HEARTS THEY HAVE!
I'VE BEEN SO BUSY THIS PAST MONTH WITH SO MANY THINGS I DON'T FEEL LIKE WRITING DOWN! WENT FOR A TRIP TO KCK AND MET UP WITH JOHN, DEBI AND JEFFRO'. ALWAYS, ALWAYS A GREAT VISIT. WISH I COULD HAVE FIXED UP THE ACCIDENT SITE BUT THE WEATHER DIDN'T WANT TO ALLOW THAT. I JUST HAVE TO PRAY ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS HAS THE TIME TO GET OVER THERE AND CLEAN IT UP. OTHER THAN TRAVELING AND BEING EXTREMELY BUSY, THINGS ARE PICKING UP. I FEEL GOOD AND I'M HAPPY WHERE WHERE GOD HAS PLACED ME! WHEN HE'S READY FOR ME TO TAKE A DIFFERENT OR NEW DIRECTION, I BELIEVE HE'LL DO JUST THAT AND LEAD ME. HE HAS SO FAR SO I'VE NEVER BEEN ALONE DAD. YOU USED TO DO ALL THIS FOR ME BUT GOD WANTED HIM TO COME BEFORE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ELSE, EVEN YOU! SO I'M JUST FINE AND YOU NEVER NEED TO WORRY. IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU COULD EVER DO FOR ME, JUST ONE THING, STAND NEAR AND ALWAYS WATCH OVER CHRISTIAN AND DYLAN. THEY SPEND EQUAL AMOUNTS OF TIME WITH THEIR DAD AND WHEN THEY ARE GONE, I DO MISS THEM AND WORRY AS A MOM DOES!
WELL DAD, I'LL BE SPENDING THE 4TH IN CHICAGO! HOPE YOU LOVE THE VIEW OF ALL THE FIREWORKS! I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU WHEN I SEE THEM!
GOOD MORNING DADDY! LOTS OF EVENTFUL THINGS IN MAY! EVERYTHING WAS SO BUSY BUT WAS GOOD. RANDI'S WEDDING, SCHOOL ENDING, SCHOOL STARTING FOR BOTH DYLAN AND I (UGH!), YOUR MEMORIAL & B-DAY. THE ENTIRE MONTH DID GO BY FAST. KEEPING BUSY AS USUAL...
THINKING OF YOU. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF THE MEMORIAL DAY AND YOUR B-DAY. FEELING LIKE I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING FOR YOU. I PRAY FOR YOU AND THE FAMILY DAD...I'M THINKING THAT'S ABOUT ALL YOU WOULD ASK FOR.
WELL THERE IS ANOTHER THING...SOME TIME THIS WEEK I'LL PAINT AND CLEAN UP THE MEMORIAL SITE. I'LL ALSO STOP BY THE HOUSE. AND YES I WAS UPSET LAST TIME BECAUSE THE NEW OWNER DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF IT LIKE YOU DID! AFTER LOOKING AT IT I KNEW ALL THE WORK IT TOOK TO MAKE IT LOOK THAT WAY. SO CLEAN AND PEACEFUL. WHEN I PULL UP I CAN ALWAYS IMAGINE YOU WALKING DOWN THE ROAD SMILING, TO OPEN THE GATE. FOR THE PAST SO MANY MONTHS I'VE TAKEN HUGE STEPS IN MOVING ON PAST YOU...KNOWING YOU'LL NEVER COME BACK. PRETTY BIG STEPS. IT NEVER MEANS I DON'T LOVE YOU ANY LESS OR THINK OF YOU ANY LESS. WAS JUST TIME TO LET GO SO I'M NOT SO DEPENDENT ON YOU! BUT THIS WEEK DAD, WHEN I GO TO VISIT YOUR FRIENDS, CLEAN THE SITE, AND EVERY OTHER MEMORY AROUND, BE WITH ME. IT BRINGS BACK ALOT AND IT'S NOT THAT EASY. BUT OTHER THAN ONCE AGAIN FACING THOSE HARD MOMENTS, I WILL ENJOY THE REST OF THE EVENINGS JUST LIKE YOU DID! WITH MY OWN FRIENDS AND WITH YOURS!
I LOVE YOU DAD. I KNOW YOUR WATCHING OVER BECAUSE I CAN FEEL IT. AND YES, I CAUGHT ON TO ALL THE SIGNS. YOUR SCARING MOM (HAHA). BUT NOT ME DAD. THIS FRADY CAT WASN'T SCARED THIS TIME!
ON MY WAY TO KANSAS CITY DAD!!! SOMEHOW, LET ME KNOW YOU ARE THERE WITH ME TOO!!
Today isn't exactly an easy day for me. It's now your 4th anniversary. A reminder of the day I'd love to forget. It's been four years since I've heard your voice, seen your smile, or have even been held by you!
Because I love you, every part of you I miss. Life after you was so hard to get used to or even accept. But that's expected when you have so many plans and so much to look forward to...and in one day, it was all gone and done.
The four years has definitely NOT been easy! It took this time for me to turn my way of thinking around to what you would want for the boys and myself. Not to mourn over you constantly or to be sad....but I know what you want for us....
....that would be.....to continue to live and enjoy every waking moment, to smile and be happy, and treasure everything and everyone you love. To be thankful for another day and every chance you get, tell the ones just how much you love them. Never just assume they know! Even if they do...tell them. And most importantly, keep God in our lives so that we could be with you again one day!
That's what I'm doing dad.
I will stop by to visit you later on this afternoon...for the first time this year. Snow is all melted now. Just as I always do, I will enjoy a summer of many visits with you!
I will end here...today isn't easy that's for sure. I sit here closing my eyes and my heart is heavy. But you know what dad....I know how to get through it! Everything you've shown me....I will pass on to my own. So, there are still pieces of you here with me!
There will never be another you....and you are thought of every single day. GOD BLESS YOU AND I LOVE YOU!
Hi Vanessa Honey!!! Just can't believe it has been four years already since your dad has been gone! I know how you must still miss him so much and I want you to know that even though we are miles apart I am still always here for you! Remember, we both still look up at the same moon at night!
JUST STOPPING BY TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! SO MANY GOOD FRIENDS HAVE BEEN CHECKING OUT YOUR SITE LATELY...IT'S REALLY NICE TO SEE.
JUST TAKING THINGS ONE DAY AT A TIME. BEEN THROUGH ALOT OF CHANGES LATELY, AND YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!
I KNOW EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON BUT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I'VE HAD TO PRACTICE IT AND BELIEVE IT. I'M GOING TO REMEMBER THINGS YOU'VE TAUGHT ME AND HAVE EXPECTED OF ME....."SWEETHEART, YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT! KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING." SOMETIMES I HAVE TO THINK IT OVER AND OVER AND REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO SAY IT...WHEN I TRY HARD ENOUGH I CAN STILL HEAR YOU.
SO DADDY, I WISH I UNDERSTOOD MORE ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE, WHEN YOU VISIT, OR IF YOU EVEN DO! EITHER WAY, I WILL STILL VISIT YOU AS I ALWAYS DO. I WILL LAY THERE WITH A BLANKET AND TALK TO YOU...PRAY FOR AND WITH YOU AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE...AND MAYBE EVEN FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO YOU SOMETIMES. I WILL PICTURE YOU THERE WITH YOUR SMILE AND THAT UNEXPLAINABLE WAY YOU WOULD LOOK INTO MY EYES. I DO KNOW WHAT TRUE LOVE IS....ONLY BECAUSE I SEEN IT WHEN YOU LOOKED AT ME.
I LOVE YOU DADDY....WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL....THAT'S ONE THING IN THIS LIFETIME OF MINE I KNOW WILL NEVER CHANGE!
Just stopped by for a visit / Logan (Friend)
Glad I stopped by for a visit to Bob's site. Those photos show a lot about his life and the things he loved about it. Didn't know he was in Ft. Leonard Wood or what we called "Little Korea" when I was there in early 73. Till we meet up again, Bob, I'll keep on "rollin' with the flow" Close
SEEK GOD FIRST (11/23/07) / XOXOXO XOXOXO (XOXOXO)Read >>
SEEK GOD FIRST (11/23/07) / XOXOXO XOXOXO (XOXOXO)
[After all] the kingdom of God is not a matter of [getting the] food and drink [one likes], but instead it is righteousness (that state which makes a person acceptable to God) and [heart] peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. He who serves Christ in this way is acceptable and pleasing to God and is approved by men. ROMANS 14:17-18
Forget all the things you think you need, and just admit to God that you need Him. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all that you need will be added to your life. MATTHEW 6:33
God knows your needs even before you ask. Don't become a seeker of promotion or position. Don't spend your life seeking prosperity. Seek the One who prospers. Seek the One who heals. Seek the One who is the giver of every good and perfect gift.
JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FOR AWHILE....(3/12/07) / VANESSA (DAUGHTER)Read >>
JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FOR AWHILE....(3/12/07) / VANESSA (DAUGHTER)
THINKING OF YOU AGAIN. HARD TO EXPLAIN TO ANYONE AFTER ALL THIS TIME HOW YOU WOULD STILL MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER IN MY LIFE. IT'S HARD NOT TO LOOK AT WHAT OTHERS HAVE SOMETIMES. IT'S JUST WHEN I SEE FRIENDS HAVING THEIR MOM/DAD RIGHT THERE TO TALK WITH, IT'S HARD NOT TO BE ENVIOUS OVER. MAKES ME REALIZE I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT AGAIN. SOMETHING THAT SMALL I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE JUST ONCE WITH YOU!
I HOPE BY NOW YOU'VE MET TYLER. I THINK ALOT ABOUT YOU MEETING HIM AND THE FUN VISITS WE WOULD HAVE HAD. ALWAYS PROUD HAVING YOU MEET ANYONE I KNEW. I KNOW THE BOTH OF YOU WOULD HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. MORE THAN THAT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. IT'S A TERRIBLE FEELING NOT HAVING YOU THERE FOR ME LIKE THAT! ALL I CAN TELL YOU NOW IS I'M VERY CONTENT AND VERY HAPPY WITH HIM. I'M SURE YOU SEE AND KNOW EVERYTHING! EVEN THOUGH THERE IS A BIG VOID WHERE YOU BELONG, I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS I HAVE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!
TYLER & I ARE STARTING ONE OF THE LAST PROJECTS I WANTED FINISHED ON THE HOUSE. MAYBE AFTER THIS I'LL BE DONE FOR A LONG WHILE! WISH YOU WERE HERE TO HELP. IF ANYTHING, I'M HAPPY TYLER IS HERE WITH ME AND I'M SURE YOU ARE TOO. THE BOYS ARE DOING GOOD ALSO...CHRISTIAN IS JUST ABOUT FINISHED WITH HIS BB SEASON. HE KEEPS BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND FRIENDS...AND DYLAN. HE'S BEEN DOING MUCH BETTER. ALOT OF CHANGE FOR HIM AND I JUST KEEP WORKING WITH HIM. LOVE THESE BOYS TO DEATH AND ALL I WANT IS FOR ALL OF US TO BE HAPPY. THEY ARE A CHALLENGE SOMETIMES! EVEN WITH THAT...I WOULDN'T CHANGE THEM FOR ANYTHING.
LIT A CANDLE IN CHURCH FOR YOU TODAY. TALKED TO YOU THERE FOR AWHILE AND WISHED SO MUCH YOU WERE SITTING THERE LISTENING!
Merry Christmas Daddy....you have no idea how much I wish you were here with us!!! Everything is good but I hurt knowing I can't see you smile and enjoy days like this with us. I would do anything for you to hold me and tell me you love me! So tired of wishing!
The boys opened thier gifts tonight and I've been telling them they need to get ready for mass soon. Doesn't look like that's happening! They are having alot of fun now so we'll see what happens.
Dylan just came over to give me a hug & kiss. Feels like you sent him over right when I needed it. He knows just what to do...lol. That smile and twinkle in his eye are the same as yours. I'm so thankful I do have all these reminders of you.
Love you Dad. Please always watch over the boys when they aren't with me. They will be gone for most of the day tomorrow. I hope tomorrow is ok because I don't wish to be w/o them on Christmas but I'll be in good company. Very happy about that....and also curious as to what you think?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD. I KNOW YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH! WISH THAT PHONE WOULD RING TO HEAR YOU SAY, "HOW ARE YOU SWEETHEART?". I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HEAR THAT AGAIN.
Merry Christmas Daddy....Promise to stop by to see you tomorrow. I Love You!! XOXOX
Dad,/ Vanessa Belgarde (Daughter)
Hi Dad, just wanted to tell you I was thinking of you and missing you so much...I wish I could pick up the phone and call you. I miss your words, jokes, and just need to hear your voice.
Things are going ok and I've been doing the best that I can with everything. Although it's not the same with you gone. There are so many reminders of you everywhere. When I see that I get lonesome all over again.
The boys are good. Christian is always talking to girls on the phone which scares the heck out of me. I know what you would say to that but to me, he's still a baby. Dylan has so much of you. I just wish he could have seen more of you because even though he asks, I know he's starting to forget things as time goes by. That is one of my biggest fears. I don't want anyone to forget. It's even hard to look at pictures sometimes because I want it back. I daydream of our conversations and what we would talk about. I pray everyday that you hear me and that you are near us....I want you to be safe and happy but there's so much of me that won't let you go!
Brad is going to Minot today with his bike. A part of me is scared to see him because you two look so much alike. I know when you see him ride today, you will be smiling down on him. I know a big part of it is for you too dad. He thinks of you when he's doing what you loved to do.
I love you daddy.....with everything in me, I love you so much! I would give anything to hear you tell me the same and to hold me...JUST ONCE! -July 20th, 2006- Close
MISSING YOU DAD: / Vanessa Belgarde (Daughter)
Dad, just thinking of you again....missing you. I'm starting my addition on the house now and remember all the ideas you had. It felt so good just having you take over. I wish you were here to do this with me! I know I could get it all done but to know my daddy was here would make it all better.
I want you to know that you are always someone I want to be like...you enjoyed life and had so many friends and worked so hard. I was always so proud of you. Your smile stands out in my mind. It's hard not to cry thinking of it...just missing it. You know if you were here, I would hold you and never let you go.
I just regret not spending more time with you when you asked. There were trips you wanted me to go on, more visits...and I always had a reason why I couldn't go. Whether it was school, family, or work. But you know, I learned now that when you love someone, you just need to take the time and do it. Work will always be there. I just had to learn a little too late. I remember this last trip you wanted me to go on....it was a cruise....you asked and asked. The only rule you had was to not always "hang" around you when girls were around so I wouldn't cramp your style....meaning, so you didn't look like you were taken...cause you loved the attention and girls around. I told you I still would chase the girls away. You would always laugh when I said that.
To have you here again....one of the last days we talked I told you that when you moved home, the boys and I would be at your house every Sunday morning to cook breakfast. You would have no privacy! I never had the chance to take care of you or do that for you. There are so many things we were supposed to do. I have to remember that you are in a place now so wonderful and there is nothing on earth to compare to that. You also know that I will be with you again.....I love you dad and I hope you are so very happy!
I will keep sending prayers up to you, and I hope you do the same for us. Give everyone a hug for me please....especially Grandma Rose....she also loved you very much.
I love you dad....I know you are here for me because I couldn't get through it all without you! I pray and pray and things are looking up....I know it's from God and you...
Daddy, you are always on my mind and in my heart... 6/26/06 Close
You touched my heart so deeply. / Bev Anderson (friend)Read >>
You touched my heart so deeply. / Bev Anderson (friend)
Vanessa and Brad, I felt your pain today. What can I say? They will just be words that come from my heart. You web site is so beautiful. Thank God for such places to honor our loved ones and let the tears flow. Tears are healers, I believe. I can only say that I know how you feel. But I wonder when the pain and loneliness will ease. Time helps so much, but yet, the hurt is so deep.
Here is a poem that brought me comfort. It came from another program, author unknown.
You can shed tears that he is gone; Or you can smile because he lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back; Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him; Or you can be full of the love you shared with him.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday; Or you can be happy for tomorrow because you had yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he's gone; Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry an close your mind, be empty, and turn your back; Or you can do wht he'd want:
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